ABOUT ME

Hello!

My name is Brooke Bonnardot. I was born on the 4th of September 2006 ( which makes me 19 years old ).

Why did I create this blog?

I created this blog because I want to help spread awareness about Mental Health and how it can affect ourselves and our loved ones. I was a bit scared to commit to this idea because I have wanted to find a way to be able to share my story and how I now live with my Mental Health Issues, and how my loved ones had to learn to help me and live with the knowledge of me having this illness.

How it started.

I first realised that I started having Mental difficulties just before December 2020, when I was at home one night with my mum, we had both gone to bed, and my dad was still at work. I remember going to sleep around 8 o'clock, and, in my "dream", hearing people shouting and screaming as if they were scared of something, and I remember this cold feeling overcoming my body as I was following these screams. That's when I suddenly remember waking up in front of the cemetery of my village. I called my dad and explained that I had just woken up and that I was in front of the cemetery. My dad didn't understand, but he left work to come and get me, making sure I was okay. After that, a few days passed, and everything was OK. Then, one night, it was around 6 o'clock, and both of my parents were at work, so I was home alone. I was pretty tired after my day of skiing, so while waiting for my parents, I fell asleep on the sofa with my two dogs. Again, I heard screaming, and a sudden cold air overcame my body, and then I woke up. My mum was in front of me, wondering how I got up to their work and why I was crying so much.

After that, we decided that maybe I should go to the doctors to get it checked out. So I did, and when I went and explained everything to the doctor, she said it could be signs of schizophrenia, but she was not allowed to diagnose me without me seeing a psychologist first. I remember my mum going into tears as soon as we heard that, and then not long after, I was hospitalised for the first time. I spent 2 and 1/2 months in the hospital speaking to doctors and psychologists and having blood tests, MRIs, and a lumbar puncture. I got diagnosed with acute psychoses (Acute Phase (Active Psychosis)

• Apparent psychotic symptoms appear, such as hallucinations (seeing/hearing things others don’t), delusions (strong false beliefs), disorganised speech or behaviour.

• This is the stage most people think of when they hear “psychosis.”)

I got given medication, and I had a weekly meeting with my psychologist to see how everything was going.

After that, I was in and out of the hospital for 2 years, and also because I had stage 3 depression ( Severe Depression (Major Episode)

• Symptoms are intense and overwhelming.

• May include deep despair, extreme fatigue, and inability to carry out everyday activities.

• Physical symptoms (headaches, digestive issues, aches) may worsen.

• In severe cases, thoughts of self-harm or suicide can appear.)

At this point, I was in danger of myself, and we decided to put me in a psychological clinic to see if that would help.

I go for 2 months and come back out a bit better than when I went in, but still not 100%. For about 3 months, all is stable, then it gets bad again, and I am back in the hospital, and then back in the clinic, this time for 7 months. After that, I was no longer allowed to go back to school, and I was at home all the time. A year goes by, and I am more stable than before.

Last year, I started working with my parents for the first time, and it didn't go as well as we had planned. I had a massive episode at the end of work one night, which sent me back to the hospital and into an adult clinic.

That was the last of my significant episodes and hospitalisations.

And now to this day, I have done a full summer season at work with no problems, and I have found the proper treatment for the moment. I still have my psychologist meeting every 2 weeks, and I have learned to find little things that help with my anxiety, schizophrenia and depression.

( This is a short version of my story, and I did leave parts out, like when I tried to take my life and how it affected me and my parents, because even now that I am better than before, it is still a sensitive subject for me.)

My hope when posting on my blog.

My greatest hope is to raise awareness about mental health issues and offer some guidance on how to support yourself or a loved one if someone is struggling.

The reason the blog is called "Still We Rise"

I have been a fan of Formula One ever since I was a little girl, and Lewis Hamilton has been my favourite driver since I was a little girl (and still is). And if you know a little bit about Lewis Hamilton, you would see that he has a tattoo on his back that says " Still I Rise", which comes from a poem written by Maya Angelou called "Still I Rise". The phrase has always been a source of comfort for me during my difficult times.

I hope this helps to get to know me a little better!